Trapped in a Broom Closet
by Artemis J. Halk
Summary: Hermione and Draco are kidnaped and trapped in a closet by an evil Mary Sue who wishes to replace them with her awesome Mary Sue Canon Characters! Rated for language and adult references.


Trapped in a Broom Closet

Hermione and Draco are kidnaped and trapped in a closet by an evil Mary Sue who wishes to replace them with her awesome Mary Sue Canon Characters!

I was inspired by a lovely Mary Sue that I saw the other day. Every canon person in that story was acting strange and I based 'Kylie' on that Sue. Forgive me if the character seem OOC... I'm not very good at writing canon, but, I had this idea in my head and it wouldn't leave me alone! I'm really only posting this to see what other people have to say.

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"Help! Let me out of here!" Hermione Granger screamed, pounding on the door with her fists.

"Mudblood?" A voice drawled from the dark corners of the broom closet. "What are you doing in here?"

"I was lured in here by some really beautiful young girl who claimed to know the location of a rare book that I just needed to get my hands onto for an extra credit research project that I'm doing!"

"Extra credit? In what class?"

"Don't you know anything, Malfoy?" Hermione sneered. "All of the professors offer an extra credit assignment to all of their seventh year students!"

"...Granger?"

"What, Malfoy?"

"You do realize that you're in your fifth year, right?"

"Well, excuse me for wanting to get a head start on it instead of putting it off until the last minute!" Hermione huffed, and then went back to banging on the door.

"It's no use, Granger. There aren't any classes held on this floor, nor are there quarters. There would be little reason for anyone to come down this way."

"..." Hermione sent him a scathing glare. "Why are you even in here in the first place?"

"I, too, was tricked by a beautiful temptress." Draco sighed, sinking to the floor in frustration.

"Hm... Did she have-"

"Long curly brown hair and big brown eyes?" The answered in unison, then gasped and turned away from each other.

"Yes." Draco sighed finally. "She called herself Kylie. Other than that, I've never seen her before. I thought that she was just some Hufflepuff house slut."

"Malfoy! That is no reason to be rude!"

"Well, she did lure me here with the excuse for sex!"

"You are a horrid person, Draco Malfoy!" Hermione hissed, turning away from him once more. Several moments of silence filled the tiny broom closet and Hermione finally turned towards Draco and found him with his back to her. She smirked slightly as she bent down, picked up a bucket and whacked Draco upside the head with it.

"What the fuck, Mudblood!" Draco exclaimed, grabbing a broom and whacking Hermione in the temple with it. Hermione grunted around the pain and continued to whack Draco with the bucket until he was limp and unmoving on the ground. Hermione smirked slightly to herself and then dragged Draco over to the door.

Several hours later, Severus Snape was patrolling when he heard a faint scratching sound coming from a nearby broom closet. He tried to open the door to catch the miscreants going at it, but found it locked.

"Hello?" Hermione asked on the other side of the door. "Is anyone there?"

"Miss Granger. What are you doing in there?" Severus asked, whipping out his wand and opening the door. He blinked in surprise to find Hermione supporting Draco Malfoy's face up to where the door had been. There was dried blood on Hermione's temple, and Draco's blond hair was matted with blood as well.

"We were locked in the broom closet by someone named 'Kylie'." Hermione explained, dropping Draco to the ground with a thud.

"I see. And just what were you doing with Mr. Malfoy?"

"I was using his nose to try and pick the lock, sir."

"I'm going to let this one slide for now, Miss Granger, as ever since Kylie showed up, she has been nothing but trouble. As well as the Hermione that she replaced you with, not to mention Mr. Malfoy."

"...How did you know, sir?" Hermione asked, blinking in shock.

"Because the Hermione Granger I know does not walk around calling people... let me see... what was the name that she used... Ah, yes! 'Bum bum head'."

"......That bitch is going down." Hermione growled.

"Indeed. We will take Mr. Malfoy down to the Hospital Wing and then try and find where this 'Kylie' has stashed Minerva before we attempt to approach her, though."

"Yes, sir." Hermione agreed, while Severus lifted Draco up with a flick of his wand and they set off.


End file.
